Stronger Than Ever
by GabrieltheTrickster
Summary: James has been broken down by so many people and it takes it's toll on The Face. Can he be fixed or will he be broken forever? James Angst. Rated T for self-harm. *true story*


**A/N: Ok, so for anyone who hasn't seen my new profile, I went on a rant about how people can say what they want about me and that I'm not going to let them break me. So, this is dedicated to the following people for keeping me strong: My GS Troop, Ami, Nate, Amanda, Brian, My aunt Ana, my grandmother (Bless her soul), GohanRules, World's Love Song, BTR'slovesong and most of all BTR. But it's also dedicated to all the people who made me strong through their words of hate: Sara, my loving mother, Dylan, and all the preppy skanks from middle and elementary school who tortured me daily because they loved seeing the fat girl cry. This is for all of you, the people who built my strength and the people who have kept that foundation from shattering. **

**Warning: Angsty Angsty Angst… you may want to prepare for an insane amount of the angst that's gonna slam into your screen.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own memories.**

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><p>"I am bigger than your words."<p>

"Nothing you can say will break me ever again."

"I am stronger now than ever before, and I'm finished."

Saying those words to myself in my mirror made me feel stronger.

But no matter how much confidence I built up, I could never face my bullies.

Not the girl who I thought was my best friend but stabbed me in the back.

Not the woman who was supposed to love me until she died.

Not Dylan, my hockey teammate who was supposed to be my defender but checked me into the corner.

And not all of the people who bullied me and teased me in middle school and elementary school because of my weight.

I'd come home every day in tears, hoping and praying that things would be better.

But they never were.

She would come home late, usually drunk and then hit me.

And when I went to school with bruises, kids taunted me more.

I was called every horrible nickname they could come up with, most of them were too vulgar to even understand.

The worst were the rumors about me being gay. Sure, I ended up bisexual, but being called a "fag" and a "queer" in third grade hurts.

It would hurt me so bad that I would skip school and run into the woods crying.

I had no friends, no family and it felt like the entire world was against me because I was fat and I was broken.

So I began to slice myself apart, not caring who found out.

Every cut I made transformed me into someone who felt better by dying.

I'd watch the blood splatter in the sink and laugh.

Something about watching my life flow down the drain made me feel good.

Because I felt like there was nothing left for me to live for.

I was fat, ugly and every single person hated me.

My best friend deserted me then stabbed me in the back, only adding to the torture I was forced to endure.

My hockey buddy checked me so hard I almost ended up paralyzed and quit the team.

My mother thought I was worthless, and every girl at school found me disgusting.

Every person who hurt me meant another slice into my flesh, another splash of scarlet in the sink.

After I started freshman year, I began to realize that what people said didn't matter.

So what if I'm not the skinniest person? Or that I don't have the "perfect beach body?"

Who wants to look like a skeleton, anyways?

So I learned to block the negative comments all together.

I began to feel my self-confidence growing, and I knew I could survive.

I began to explore my own life, and everything it had to offer me.

After years of staying hidden in the background of school, I threw myself into the middle of it all, joining any clubs I could.

I was in almost every single club in school, but the ones I loved were the performing arts clubs.

I joined Drama and the show choir, and even band for a while.

I met three guys in choir that were easily three of the most popular guys in school because they did hockey.

Soon after, I was on the ice with Kendall, Carlos and Logan and I was rising to the top of the social ladder.

I lost weight, hit puberty and it was like I was a butterfly breaking out of my chrysalis.

People started talking to me and I made more friends, ones who weren't going to stab me in the back or spread rumors about me.

But there were still the people who hated me and would bully me, but I ignored them.

They broke my defenses for so long that I had become immune to their hatred.

I was stronger than they would ever be.

Nothing was going to break me anymore.

Because I am stronger now than ever before and nothing you will do can hurt me again.

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><p><strong>AN: Ok. So, I know this probably sucked. In fact, I know it sucked because it's 1:45 AM and I haven't gotten a good night's sleep for like 3 days. But, I hope you guys enjoy this james-angst in which James represents me oh-so-well. So, read, review, flame, feed me, give me money, your first-born kid, give me a kidney…you know, all the things that they ask you for in the iTunes Terms and Conditions. Don't believe me? Google it.**


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